Support for persons in mourning

• Your pain is unique

• By your Side : a tool for support in bereavement

The word “bereavement” derives from an Old English term meaning “deprival”. The bereavement that is starting for you has deprived you of a loved one, and pain is the inevitable result. The person who has just passed leaves an enormous void in the family. Once the funeral is over, it is very likely that, sooner or later, you as a bereaved person will be alone with your grief. Those around you will have returned to normal life well before your own life has stabilized. With time, your need to talk about your loss may find no one left to listen. As one moves through the mourning process, one sometimes feels like healing will never come. It then becomes very important to seek out human comfort and warmth for support in this difficult period of our life.

Your pain is unique

Since each human being is different, you will have your own way of experiencing your pain.
You have to be indulgent with yourself, live one moment at a time, and not miss an opportunity to congratulate yourself on your courage.

Most specialists say that a major mourning period can last between nine months and two years. But those figures are only approximate indicators: you will be in mourning as long as you need to be.

At certain stages of mourning, the bereaved person may feel the need to be alone to take stock of things. At other times, he or she may feel an acute need to be listened to, consoled and supported. You have to respect your own needs, which will be sure to change as the months go by.

By your side
A tool for support in bereavement offered exclusively by the funeral cooperatives

Losing a family member is probably the most difficult trial we face in life. Those who have experienced this know how important it is to feel support from others in order to get through the upheavals of a bereavement.

The people who work in funeral cooperatives have daily experience of death and bereavement. They know the emotions that can well up weeks after the loss of a family member. For that reason, the funeral cooperatives have prepared a series of four instalments called By Your Side in order to continue our support for bereaved families, even beyond the period of the funeral rites.

The four instalments in this series are sent free of charge to persons who have ordered funeral services for a family member from a participating funeral cooperative. They are sent in the first year – one every four months.

Each instalment contains:

• Coaching for every stage of the bereavement;
• Interviews with major Québec authors and specialists on bereavement;
• Personal accounts: from people of all ages, recounting their experience in mourning the death of a spouse, a child or a parent;
• Practical exercises for moving forward through a bereavement;
• Resources: book suggestions, self-help groups, natural helpers, professional help;
• Tips and advice;
• Simple, accessible and concrete information about bereavement.

Why are we offering this service?

Simply because we realize that the death of a family member is a difficult trial, and that many bereaved persons need support and information. By virtue of its education role, your funeral cooperative offers services that start before the death and continue beyond the funeral service. What is more, since we are a cooperative, we are not in business to make a profit. So we can reinvest surpluses in products that support our members and our clients. The publication of a tool to help families in mourning is a project that has been close to our hearts for a long time.

By Your Side is a tool expressly designed for bereaved persons who have ordered funeral services for a family member from a participating funeral cooperative. Certain cooperatives also make it available to members and non-members for a fee of between $20 and $30. For information, please contact the funeral cooperative nearest you.