You are in mourning

• Despite what many persons may think, the normal period of mourning lasts an average of two years. Allow yourself time to heal. Little by little, you will feel less pain whenever you remember the deceased person.
   
• The intensity of your bereavement will depend on the relationship you had with the deceased person.
   
• It is tempting to want to take shortcuts to avoid suffering. However, there are none. The only way to get through the bereavement is to fully live your suffering and the different emotions associated with it.
   
• In the most difficult moments of mourning, be indulgent with yourself. The emotions you feel are intense and demand a lot of energy, but they are transitory. Live one moment at a time, and congratulate yourself when the worst has passed.
   
• Some persons may sometimes feel like they are going crazy, and wonder whether their reactions of anger, guilt, confusion and discouragement are normal. Have no fear, for these are normal reactions to a bereavement.
   
• When a loved one dies, certain important decisions will have to be made (sale of the house, moving, and so on). So far as possible, put them off until later; you are in no state to make informed decisions. If you deal with them now, you might regret it.
   
• Be patient with others, for they will not always understand what you are going through. Express your needs and surround yourself with people you can trust and rely on. This will avoid many frustrations.
   
• Never forget that what you are experiencing is certainly the worst trial that anyone can undergo. It disrupts your life and shakes you to your depths: you will find your strength sapped by intense, profound grief. You will have to accept the changes that come with the loss, that is, put an end to your usual projects and live each day in the absence of the loved one. Therefore permit yourself to seek out help, if that is what you need. Perhaps there is a self-help group in your community. Make inquiries at your CLSC.
   
• You are entitled to time off and to diversion: this can only do you good. And since bereavement requires a lot of work of you, don’t take on too much. You need to recover.
   
• If you are a believer, do not hesitate to pray for the help that you need to heal.