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Originally, funeral rites served very specific functions: they gave expression to certain ideas and emotions. At a time when community is yielding more and more to individualism, most funeral rites are sometimes dispatched at speed, as if it were possible to move quickly on to other things! And how many people, when preparing their funeral wishes, chose the most expeditious services possible, thinking to thereby reduce the bother for their family members! Before making any decisions about your funeral arrangements, we advise you to talk about them with your family, because they are the ones who will have to live with the consequences of those decisions. Experience shows that funeral rites help to give meaning to the loss, tighten the bonds in one’s circle, and facilitate the progress of mourning in a number of ways. Certain rites such as the visitation, the church ceremony and the post-service reception allow the bereaved to feel the support and friendship of their relatives and friends. They are ways to share memories, express emotions and make a good start to the mourning process. Each culture has its own characteristic funeral rites. In Québec, in the Catholic faith, these generally proceed through the following sequence of stages: Visitation in the funeral parlour The visitation consists in paying a final tribute to the deceased by visiting the casket. It also allows the community to express their empathy and support for the bereaved family. For a few years, the tendency has been to incorporate this practice into the funeral service, and so the family is present in the church a few minutes in advance to receive condolences. Funeral service The religious ceremony has various types of significance, according to the different cultures found in Québec. In most cases, the purpose of this ceremony is the eternal repose of the soul of the deceased. It also is an occasion for the bereaved to show their grief. Procession At the end of the religious service, those present form a cortege to leave the church. The cortege continues on foot or by car to the cemetery. The procession is the last physical passage of the mortal remains in public, surrounded by friends and family. For the family of the deceased, the procession is the last journey with the deceased. Post-funeral reception The reception after the funeral service allows the family of the deceased to share their memories over a meal or lunch. In a more convivial and less formal context than the church or funeral parlour, the reception is an opportunity for the bereaved to share their emotions and take advantage of the support of those around them. Disposition of the body The disposition of the body marks the end of the mortuary process. It is the consignment of the body to its final resting place, and can take place in various ways. The remains may be placed in the ground, in a crypt or in a mausoleum. If they are cremated, the ashes are interred or placed in a columbarium. Unlike the body which must be buried in the cemetery, ashes may be disposed of in any way one wishes. Therefore they can be kept at home or scattered to the winds. Memorial ceremony The memorial generally takes place a few months after the death. It consists in paying homage to the deceased through commemorative ceremonies at the church (memorial mass), at the cemetery, or at home. The funeral sector, like many others, is evolving and changing. In our cooperatives, we in fact strive to promote this evolution when it allows people to better experience the events affecting them. Increasingly, people want to personalize funeral services for the loved one who has just passed. They want the ceremonies to be a personalized event, one that is connected to what the deceased person was and to what they themselves are experiencing at the time. In other circumstances – births, anniversaries, marriages – we do things that express our feelings, that are ways of experiencing and sharing our feelings. When a death occurs, is it not desirable to do the same? We believe that this is one way of moving forward through a bereavement. Taking personal action allows us to "live" what is happening to us, with more self-awareness. The funeral services should call the deceased to mind, their life and their loves. The service allows the family to give concrete expression to what they are feeling. Personalizing means organizing and taking actions that make the funeral personal, whether during the visitation, at the church, at the moment of interment or in the reception hall. Personal effects of the deceased or actions characteristic of the persons involved can express feelings and recall happy, precious moments in the lives of individuals and families. At the visitation, personal items can be brought to the funeral parlour and displayed near the casket, such as photographs, souvenirs, a video, etc. One of the family members may perform some act of tribute, compose or read a thought or a prayer. It is possible to personalize this event in a way that is in keeping with what the deceased was and what the family is feeling. The very choice of the type of arrangement, visitation, cremation, etc., is a good demonstration of how each person wants to express his or her feelings: this is a choice which in fact determines how those left behind will live the loss of the loved one. At your
cooperative, we are sensitive and open to this,
in a manner respectful of your beliefs, your
choices and your wishes. It is our task to
facilitate this personalization so that the
funeral service is a rite adapted to the
circumstances and so that it can facilitate the
mourning process. The feelings of each person
are realities which we do well to allow everyone
to live in his or her own way. |
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